"Oh my god, that's horrible. Why did they shoot that man in the head?"
"He's a DEA agent."
"Who is that guy who shot him?"
"Who's the guy under the car?"
"What did... "
I put the television on pause as my patience reaches it's limit.
"Goddamnit Mark, I've put nearly sixty hours into watching this show. You watched ten minutes of the first episode and stopped watching because it was 'too violent'. Now you want me to bring you up to speed on what's happening?"
Mark drives me crazy with his talking during movies, and interrupting television shows with questions. It's been this way for sixteen years. He attributes it to an ethnic thing. I say that's a stupid excuse for his big mouth. Anyway, I have instituted a few rules for when I am watching television. I don't expect Mark to start following these rules, but here they are.
- Quit asking me questions about the plot. I am watching the same damn show you are. I know as much as you do, so shut the fuck up.
- I am not going to fill you in on the intricacies of the plot, of a show you decided you didn't want to watch three years ago. Figure it out for yourself, and shut the fuck up.
- No, I don't want to know what is going to happen just because you read about it on the internet. Why would I want to have the ending of a show spoiled by you? Shut the fuck up.
- Finally in general, please be quiet. Not just when I am watching a television show or movie, but most importantly, if you come into the living room and the television is on and my eyes are closed, shut the fuck up. I'm sleeping.