"Alan! What the hell did you write this morning? Why are my friends calling and asking me about me screaming at the computer?"
"Uh, I don't know. I didn't write anything bad about you."
"This is the second goddamned time this week you wrote about me. Stop writing about what I do. I'm goddamned tired of my friends asking me personal things that they shouldn't know anything about."
So I won't be writing about Mark anymore. I beg of you, please don't call him early in the morning and ask him questions about my blog. Don't walk up to him in a bar and start chatting about his latest faux pas that you read about. You only get me into trouble when you do that. From now on I will be using a fantasy boyfriend as my foil. Whatever I write will not be about Mark in the least. It will all be made up, it will be pure fiction. This little dust up between Mark and me created a little gap in my blogging, but I think with my new approach I can now go on.
Tonight for dinner Márkus, my new boyfriend, decided to make me a delicious low calorie meal. I have to admit it was damn good, and I have to give Márkus some credit. He is at least trying to feed me healthier food. The only problem is that although Márkus put a plate of skinless baked chicken breasts with a side of broccoli in front of me, the plate was so piled high with food I could hardly finish it. Of course when I mentioned that, Márkus blew up and started cursing and dancing around like a crazed marionette..